INTRODUCTION

The following section summarizes the dominant themes derived from the interview and focus group data gathered in two rural communities in British Columbia. The first section outlines the dominant themes from interviews with 20 women survivors of violence. This is followed by an analysis of interview data from 13 key informants, 6 from one research site and 7 from the other. Thereafter, themes arising from 4 focus groups, 2 with residents and community leaders and 2 with service providers from each of the research sites, are discussed.

Redundancies

Many of the questions asked of survivors, key informants and focus group participants had built-in redundancies. In part, these redundancies were designed to obtain answers within the context of the specific questions being asked. For example, several questions dealt with the barriers that women survivors faced when leaving abusive relationships. Another question asked interviewees to identify factors that impeded women from leaving abusive relationships. The two questions are inter-related and many of the answers provided were similar. Thus, in the context of the thematic analysis, the same themes appeared within each section or question. In the same vein, while survivors, focus group participants, and interviewees were asked differently­worded questions, the focus of the questions often overlapped, and hence, similar themes were identified in the data pertaining to each group.

IIIa. THEMATIC ANALYSIS OF THE VOICES OF SURVIVORS

Interview questions pertaining to survivors dealt with a variety of different issues and concerns. The first set of questions focussed on the experience of defining, recognizing and living with abuse; the specific individuals who were told about the abuse; decisions made about staying or leaving the abusive relationship; safety plans or other things that women did to find safety; questions regarding who was helpful or unhelpful; and experiences of isolation. Subsequent questions focussed on the impact of children in affecting the decision to stay or leave the abusive relationship; financial considerations; community responses; and access to and responses of the various social and health services and the criminal justice system. The final set of questions concerned definitions and experiences of "rurality," isolation, personal networks, transportation, and the kind of advice that respondents would give to other women who were experiencing violence in rural communities. As well, demographic information concerning the general age range of the interviewees was solicited in addition to their distance from the nearest centre or service at the time of their experience of abuse.

Interviewees

The following pages detail the dominant themes derived from the interview questions and the responses of women survivors of violence in rural settings. The age range for the women interviewed was as follows: 1 was between 18 and 25 years, 7 were between 26 and 40, and 12 were between 41 and 55 years. All of the survivors had been out of violent relationships for at least one year.

1. LIVING WITH ABUSE

Recognition of Abuse

Just when women realized that they were being abused varied. For those respondents who provided a specific time period (13), 1 indicated that the abuse started "five minutes" after marriage, 2 indicated that it started immediately, 2 said it began after the first 2 months of living together, 2 mentioned the first few months, 1 mentioned six months, 3 indicated the first year, and 1 said that it began within less than 2 years of living with her partner. In all of these cases, the abusive behaviour began within the first 2 years and respondents recognized it as such. Two of the respondents said that the physical abuse began with pregnancy. Another respondent said that it escalated when she asked for a divorce.

However, the naming of the behaviour they suffered as abusive did not occur immediately for all the women interviewed. Five mentioned that it was after interacting with other people and/or going to counselling sessions. Two specifically mentioned that it was in retrospect or "hindsight" that they recognized it as abuse. Two others mentioned that it was when they were ready to leave the relationship or had just come out of it that they recognized it as abusive. Another said that it took her a year to name the abuse and one recognized it after witnessing the impact of abuse on her children.

Defining Abuse

Two different questions dealt with the recognition of abuse. The first dealt with a temporal element, namely, when did the respondent first realize that she was being abused. The second dealt with her naming of the behaviour as abusive. As the two questions are inter-related, many of the responses tended not to be discrete but rather reference the recognition to a time when the behaviour first surfaced. For example, one respondent between the ages of 18 and 25 responded in the following way to the question "When did you first realize that your partner was abusing you?":

Probably the first time he threw me up against the wall. That was a good indication! (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

However, not all the women interviewed defined the behaviour as abusive. Many of them were aware that they were being abused, but the terminology to name or define behaviour as abusive was something that they often acquired from the people around them, or from services they accessed. As one survivor put it:

Actually, I wasn't aware of being abused by him until there was an incident where I was physically assaulted and after speaking to a woman from Victim's Assistance, she just kind of pointed out, "Well, this kind of thing usually doesn't happen in a relationship where the power is in balance." (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Physical Abuse

Interestingly, of the 20 interviews with survivors, 10 of the interviewees explicitly traced their realization of abuse to an incident where they were physically assaulted by their former spouses or boyfriends. In these instances, the interviewees recounted the physical abuse they had suffered and its impact on them. As one respondent stated:

I recognized it immediately. When the knives started being flipped in my face and I would wake up at night and he would be standing over the bed or he would be threatening to throw his carpentry tools at me. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In some cases, the physical abuse was first directed at children and/or friends close to the women.

Emotional Abuse

Six of the interviewees specifically referenced emotional abuse and controlling behaviour on the part of their ex-spouses or boyfriends. As one interviewee stated:

It started with more of a mental and crazy-making. He would twist stories around and I thought I was crazy. And he kept me at home, isolated me, I couldn't have friends. And if any of my friends came over, he would make them feel very uncomfortable so that they wouldn't want to come back. If they were friends that were males, he would beat them up or put them in the hospital. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

The issue of control was identified specifically by 4 of the respondents. As 1 of these 4 interviewees put it:

… it became a thing about control and I didn't even, at that point, see it as abusive. I was still thinking that that was O.K. But I started watching my behaviour slip back to old behaviour patterns. I realized that whatever he wanted to do, I did. It's like I stepped back into my role of peace at any price. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Country Town)

Domination and Control

One dynamic of violence against women in relationships that is discussed in the literature is the partner's attempts to control and dominate the abused woman's behaviour. The abuser may limit her contact with friends and other potential sources of support. Interviewees were asked whether their contact with others outside the relationship had been curtailed in any way by the abuser. The aim was to ascertain, first, whether the same dynamics operate within the rural environment and, second, the impact of these dynamics in a rural context.

Of the 20 women interviewed, 11 said that their contact had been limited or completely eliminated. Another 8 said that their social interactions had not been restricted and 1 was unclear in her response. One woman noted that jealousy and possessiveness were integral factors in her spouse's domination of her. Some interviewees mentioned that they were deliberately cut off from their friends and family by the abuser who would move them to an area where they had no access to a telephone or were physically too preoccupied with survival. In addition, survivors indicated that they were not allowed to go out, interact with others, or socialize. In some cases, they were monitored all the time. This served to isolate them by disconnecting them from other networks of support. In some cases, the attempt to limit contact was accompanied by violence towards those that did attempt to visit or retain some kind of connection. As this woman recounted:

Oh, he would rip the phone out of the wall quite a few times, a lot of times when I tried to phone the police. He'd get rid of the phone. He would threaten my friends. If they were to come around. They thought that they were helping me but as he put it, being nosy and putting their nose where it didn't belong. So he would threaten them and some of them would just give up. They didn't want to have anything to do with it because they started to get scared of him. So I lost a lot of support because of his threats. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

One woman's experience clearly illustrates the extremity of isolation imposed. In particular, the obstacles imposed on her to keep her from the workplace are especially indicative of how the geographical isolation of a rural environment interacts with the social isolation of abuse.

Yeah, I was not allowed to go out with friends to the bar. I wasn't allowed to just go visit friends whenever I wanted, I had to ask permission. It was, "Who are you going to see and when will you be back?" He had a pretty tight lid on where I was … I was housebound. I had animals to take care of, and children to take care of, and I wasn't going anywhere. In fact, even after I got a job, he would do this and leave me without a vehicle, and I would have to get 11 or 12 miles to my job, but first I would have to walk a quarter of a mile to my neighbours without phoning first, and say at the spur of the moment, "Could you take my kids because I've gotta be at work in an hour?" and then hitch hike to work. Then hitch hike back, get the kids and walk the quarter of a mile home again. He made it very difficult for me not only to have friends, but also to be working in the community. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

In many of these cases, attempts to limit contact with others also entailed isolating women geographically, socially, and psychologically. It is interesting to note, that this kind of deliberate isolation often involved removing the telephone or cutting off the service.

Survival Tactics

Women devised strategies to minimize abuse and to avoid harm. Several women noted that their safety plans included learning the cycle of behaviour that would signal impending abuse. One woman would defer the abuse when she recognized its pattern starting. She described it as follows:

… I devised a means that would keep me from getting hurt. Basically he would say, "I'm getting very angry," and I would back off and kiss ass and he would … you know, I wouldn't push him any further. It didn't matter whether I felt I was right, or he was doing something really unfair, I would just back off and let him have his way because that was the last warning. "I'm getting angry" was my warning before the abuse started. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Two women said that passive-aggressive behaviour and self-inflicted harm were strategies they used to keep their sense of self intact and put off the abuser. As one woman described it,

… I remember smoking a cigarette and starting to burn myself just to shock him and get him out of there because I knew that he would say something like, "Oh you're crazy. I'm outta here," or something like that. And that's what happened. It was my way of getting rid of him by hurting myself. … It was my way of saving my mind and myself, I guess. (Survivor 1, age 41-55, Country Town)

Some women responded to the threat of abuse by setting boundaries and articulating these to the abusers. As well, they would notify others so that they could be warned. One survivor stated:

I put up some strong boundaries. He wasn't allowed to take the kids when he was in an angry mood because I was scared for their safety. I started to talk to a few people about it and make them aware that I was feeling at risk. And people would start to call me. … People who were really angry with me because I wanted a divorce would still call me and say, "Oh we saw him in town today and he looks bad, so you had better watch out. It looks like a bad day." (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

2. REACHING OUT TO THE COMMUNITY

Five primary themes emerged that characterized women's attempts to confide in others about their abuse and to prepare to leave their relationships: disclosures of abuse, decisions to stay or leave abusive relationships, safety plans/mechanisms, formation of support networks, and isolation.

Disclosure of Abuse

Respondents were asked to identify who they had first spoken to about the abuse they were experiencing. Most of the women (8) mentioned that they had told their friends first. Three did not tell anyone. Three went to a counsellor, and 1 mentioned the abuse only after suffering from a brutal attack by her partner at the time. Three articulated the abuse they were experiencing in a support group they were attending. Two had approached their partner's mother. One had mentioned it to her parents, 1 went to the police, 1 spoke to her co-workers, and 1 saw a psychologist who she could not afford to continue to see. One mentioned going to a women's centre, and 2 specifically referred to talking to a woman in their respective communities who was known for doing anti-violence work. Most of the women had first mentioned the abuse to their friends and only after did they consult others such as psychologists, doctors, or counsellors.

One woman mentioned that she would have continued to remain silent had she not wanted a divorce and had the violence not escalated. She highlighted particular factors that act as a deterrent for women:

I never in my whole marriage told anybody. I have a high profile in my work and I never told anyone. Not a soul would have known. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Interviewees were asked if they had ever tried to tell someone prominent in the community about the abuse. Interestingly, none mentioned going to a priest, although one thought about it. Seven had consulted their doctor, 6 had gone to the police, another 6 had seen counsellors, 3 had told nobody, another had gone to a psychiatrist, 1 to a transition house, 1 called a crisis centre, 1 had spoken to her co-workers who were teachers, and 1 had gone to a social worker. Some of these responses referenced a combination of people consulted, e.g., going to see a doctor and the police.

Isolation

Isolation emerged as a particularly relevant and pronounced theme for women surviving abuse in rural and small communities. Eighteen of the 20 women interviewed reported experiencing different kinds of isolation. Of the remaining 2, 1 said that her experience of isolation was positive in that isolation represented safety for her. She had isolated herself from her abusive spouse. One reported that she had not experienced isolation.

Social and Geographic Isolation

Of the 18 who had experienced negative forms of isolation, 13 described the experience as being a combination of geographic and social isolation. These included factors such as not having a telephone, the large distances between places, lack of transportation or the high cost of transportation, the lack of monitoring or accountability of abusers, and the enforcement of isolation by the abuser. However, there were a range of responses within this category, reflecting the different degrees of isolation experienced by the women and their attendant dangers. An example of this combination can be seen in the following interviewee's response:

Yes, I felt isolated for two reasons. One, obviously, was my physical location, having no phone and being at least a quarter of a mile from the nearest neighbour. I mean, I could have screamed at the top of my lungs and nobody would have heard me. He could have killed me and thrown my body out in the chuck that night and nobody would have been there to see it. I was isolated in terms of not knowing many people in my community at the time, I didn't have a lot of friends at the time. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another explained that feelings of shame isolated her from the community. One interviewee felt as though she was the only woman experiencing abuse and she described how her fear isolated her. Another illustrated how social isolation came from the responses she received from the people around her:

Just the isolation and just the way people would withdraw from you and not make eye contact and not see you as a human being the way they had in the past, that kind of would snowball into this sense of shame within myself with them … maybe they didn't want to see the pain that I was in or maybe they didn't want to actually look at, "This is a woman who's suffering from abuse of some sort." Maybe they just didn't want to see that. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Transportation

Many of these women were not only geographically isolated but had no access to transportation. Having unreliable or no access to transportation can be a major barrier for women trying to escape from an abusive relationship. This is especially so given that public transportation is often non-existent in rural areas. One woman succinctly expressed the interaction of geographical isolation, violence, and no transportation by noting that "distance is a problem if you are running out the door trying to get away" (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville).

At the time of the abusive relationships, 12 of the women had access to vehicles, 5 did not, 2 said 'sometimes', and 1 did not answer. For those who did have their own vehicles, 1 said that her partner had tried to sabotage the car by attempting to remove the tires. Another 2 had vehicles that were unreliable. Two discussed how their partners maintained strict control over the vehicles, including only insuring one vehicle or driver, not permitting the woman to obtain or renew her driver's license, only repairing one vehicle, and monitoring or restricting vehicle use.

Lack of Utilities and Facilities

Several respondents described how the lack of a telephone and other utilities further isolated them both geographically and socially. In particular, lack of telephone access was a barrier to communication about the abuse and to obtaining help during crises.

I didn't have a telephone or electricity or running water. We just had a little shack in the back of the woods and he worked during the day and I was at home all the time. In that kind of situation, a woman can't get out. And I even remember wanting to get a phone and there was no way in the world he was getting a phone, just for that reason. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Cultural Isolation

An immigrant woman interviewed for this study discussed how language barriers and feeling displaced in a strange country made surviving and leaving abuse more difficult.

Well even when we came here, because of strange people, the language, culture, the system. We cannot talk. It is very hard. Very isolating. Strange country, strange people, everything was new and different. (Survivor 3, age 41-55, Country Town)

Many of these experiences of isolation are grounded in the lack of control that women had over their lives and their relationships with others, as well as the inaccessibility to services that they experienced. In addition, geographic and economic factors added to the isolation because they increased the women's dependency on their abusive partners.

Factors Influencing Decisions to Stay or Leave Abusive Relationships

Women's decisions to stay or leave the relationship were influenced by several factors. The most often cited reasons for staying were economic concerns and children's safety. At the same time, the most frequently cited reason for leaving was the impact of violence on children, including both witnessing the violence and being subjected to violence by the abuser. In many instances, interviewees mentioned multiple reasons for staying or leaving.

Poverty and Financial Dependence

Economic uncertainty played a significant role in deterring women from leaving their abusive relationships. Twelve of the survivors described situations of varying dependency on their partners for financial support. As this interviewee stated:

Oh yeah, we were very, very poor. I had no means of leaving, no place to go, no resources to draw on … the financial situation kept me there for a long time. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

In 4 cases, the women worked part-time and were dependent on their partners for shelter costs. In 4 cases, the women did not work and were wholly dependent on their spouses. In only one situation did the interviewee work full-time, and in that instance, she was dependent on her partner for taking care of the children. He was employed intermittently.

Eight of the women reported that they had no financial reasons for staying. In some of these instances, both they and their partners were recipients of social assistance. In one case, her partner depended on her welfare cheque to survive and in another case the interviewee was the main breadwinner. One of the interviewees owned her house so that made her less dependent on her partner.

Financial Abuse and Control

Several women reported having their money and spending controlled by their abusers, thereby rendering financial resources for leaving inaccessible. For example, one survivor said:

I had to ask him for money. There was a time when I was trying to take care of the money, but I was terrified of buying anything. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Lack of Education, Skills, and Opportunities

One concern that several women expressed was a lack of training and skills which would enable them to find jobs and be financially independent. As this woman stated:

I didn't know how I could do it. How could I leave. I started having babies at 19. At 36, I was still having babies. I have a high school education. Going back to school wasn't possible. I didn't have the time and he didn't support me in it. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In response to questioning, 6 of the women said that they did not need any information about finances to leave the abuse, another 6 indicated that they had pursued financial information and resources, 4 did not respond to the question, and 4 said it was not applicable to their situation. One indicated that having such information accessible would be beneficial, and 1 was unclear in her response.

The women who did require financial information pursued it through various avenues. Specifically, they wanted information about legal aid, child support payments, counselling fees, and welfare benefits. One woman expressed the difficulty of managing without financial experience and knowledge:

When we bought the trailer, we had to go through a bank and the loans and the co-signing. I was lost when that was happening. But I did handle it. I would freak out in banks. My emotions would just fly. When I went to the women's centre and started getting knowledge, I realized how much I did not know. I still don't. I am getting more of what I need, but I am still afraid of stuff with money. I panic when I have to learn something. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Economic Survival After Abuse

There were two questions asked regarding the women's financial experiences after leaving their relationships. The first dealt with how interviewees had overcome their financial problems and the second focussed on their current economic survival.

Many women said that they had relied either on social assistance (welfare benefits) or on a combination of benefits and child support payments (7) to survive after leaving. One of the women mentioned that she had depended partly on social assistance and partly on student loans. Another woman had accumulated some savings to help her cope after she left. One interviewee had to rely on her network of friends to overcome financial difficulties. Several survivors had loans re-financed to provide economic resources for leaving. Overall, the majority of the women indicated that they faced economic hardship upon leaving their relationships, some of whom required social assistance and some of whom were working multiple jobs or very long hours. As one woman described:

Bread on the table and no money in the bank. I had been doing odd jobs and then the appliances would break down. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

The financial difficulties these women confronted after leaving are reflected further in their current economic situations. Most of the women (12) are employed. Four are receiving disability benefits, 1 has a pension, and 1 is on welfare. The other 2 did not provide an answer to this question.

Of the women who do paid work, many are in jobs that do not provide them with any kind of discretionary income. They survive. As one woman put it:

Well, now I'm in my second relationship since the abusive one, and we both work our butts off. We live below the poverty line, and we get our bills paid eventually, and we always have enough to eat, and the bills can wait a little bit. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another said:

I work two jobs. I work six days a week. Some nights. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

For women receiving disability benefits, the financial situation is worse. As one woman described it:

I have had an operation on my back and am now on disability. My back was breaking in two. There was no disc … I am not even getting by. My bills are on a rotating scale. We don't eat that well because of the lack of money. The food bank isn't very good. I can't afford the vitamins I need for my bones. I had to hock my jewelry to get through this last while. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Children

Survivors were asked what kinds of concerns they had about their children and how these affected their decisions to leave or stay in their relationship. Of the 20 interviewees, 3 had no children. In one case, the children were grown up and had left the parental home.

Ten of the women said that the impact on their children of witnessing or being subjected to violence was highly significant in motivating them to leave the abusive relationship. In many instances, women were particularly concerned about how the violence would impact on the socialization of children and the role models to which the children were being exposed. One participant shared her thoughts:

My main concern … was that they would grow up and think that this is normal. I wanted them both to grow up and know what it is to love and be loved, what that really is to feel safe, to know that I am safe … I want my children to grow up and respect me and love me and maybe look to me for some guidance, and how can they do that if I'm cowering and afraid to stand up for myself? (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

In the remaining cases, 6 did not explicitly state that the children were a major factor influencing them to leave, although concerns about them were mentioned. In the single instance where the interviewee said that the children had no impact on her decision to leave, she explained:

When he came home drunk, it was in the middle of the night. The kids knew he was the way he was. They heard about it, but they didn't see a lot of it. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In another instance, a participant mentioned that it was not until she went to the transition house and had the children psychologically assessed that she realized the impact of their witnessing the violence in the home. This strengthened her resolve to leave the abusive relationship.

Eight of the interviewees specifically mentioned children as factors influencing both their decisions to stay and to leave the relationship. These women described staying in the relationship because they feared for their children's safety and they feared being denied access to their children by their spouses, the Ministry for Children and Families, or the courts. They specifically discussed how these fears interacted with their desire to leave because of the impact that the violence was having on their children.

Loss of Children

One woman highlighted how her spouse had threatened that she would lose access to her children if she tried to leave the relationship:

He kept coming back and every time I kicked him out, he would take the children … and so I would always let him back because I wanted my children. And he would threaten that I would never, ever see them again and he still uses the children to hurt me. If he can't have me, I can't have the children kind of thing. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

Two women mentioned child apprehension as a potential or actual consequence of accessing social services in their attempts to leave. As one of them said:

… if I went to them and told them that I was in an abusive relationship and that I was afraid that they would take my child away was a huge. … That was why I didn't want to go to them for help. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Increasing Frequency and Intensity of Abuse Over Time

The increased frequency of violence was yet another factor that interviewees either explicitly mentioned or alluded to as impacting on their decisions to leave. This was especially pronounced in the advice they offered to women currently living with abuse:

…get the hell out of there. If you see any abuse in the first few months, then get out of there now. It is not going to get better; it is going to get worse. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Participants further emphasized the repetitive nature of the abuse once it has started, and the realization that it is not going to stop:

That if he hit you once, he's probably going to hit you again. It's probably not going to get better … it's going to keep happening, so you've got to decide whether this is what you want for your life. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Fear and Danger

Many interviewees described the extreme fear with which they lived while being in the abusive relationship. Retribution by the abuser, loss of one's children, deportation, loss of home and community, and racism were all defined by the survivors as fears that prevented women from leaving.

Fear of Retaliation

One interviewee specifically mentioned the combination of geographic isolation, physical terror, and threats against her children as the main reasons why she remained in the relationship. In her words:

I learned to live with terror. I was always afraid. Our lives were run by that. We were hundreds of miles from anything I had known … the years just passed … the threats got worse. "If you ever leave me, I'll follow you." "If you ever leave me, you'll be a failure, you're a useless piece of … you have already been married and you couldn't make that work." The really frightening one was, I can't say it to this day. He would harm the kids if I left. He hadn't harmed them, but he would threaten it. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In addition, the threat of psychiatric incarceration was used to control women and keep them from leaving. As this interviewee recounted:

Well I stayed because he told me things like, "I'm crazy," and all he needs is three signatures, his, the doctors, and one other person's and he'd lock me up in the psych ward. And that scared me … (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

One woman noted the threats of violence that followed her termination of her relationship:

I felt good saying, "It's over. It's done." It set into him that I meant it this time and that is when he started getting really threatening. He stalked me. He made threatening phone calls. He threatened to kill me. He broke into my house. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Seven women said that they had no safe place to communicate about violence. Two survivors identified lack of anonymity and fear of retaliation as significant factors in deterring them from talking about the relationship. As one woman described:

I still have that fear that my last partner will find me. He threatened my security. He threatened to kick me off my welfare and when you have been abused, you believe they can do it. He is capable of going over the line. It is easy to find someone here. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

The fear of retaliation for breaking the silence of abuse, and its repercussions, was also described by those survivors who were now providing services for women:

But for a long time … we kept our identity totally secret, or we tried to. We were terrified. And at a certain point, we finally made a decision, "Well we can't do anything unless people know who we are and have a phone number." It's a real Catch-22. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

One woman expressed how this fear emerged in her participation in this project.

Maybe that's a fear too. The fear of what's going to happen if I break the silence. What's going to happen if I tell my story. … What repercussions will doing this interview have on my life? Is this going to empower me to change this and that about my life or is this going to make me feel fearful. Like whatever is on this sheet saying my name and my … that has to be totally real because I don't think I would have the courage to talk about what happened to me knowing that it was going to be broadcast out there. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Deportation

One issue raised by an immigrant participant was the threat of deportation used by abusive spouses to intimidate new immigrant women into silence and staying.

Now there are many women who are married to Canadians and they come here and they don't know anything about the language. They can be nice guys sometimes but can be not very nice. They can be married and something happens and the men send them back and this is not right. (Survivor 3, age 41-55, Country Town)

Loss of Home and Community

Another fear that survivors confronted when leaving abuse was that they would lose their homes and community. For one woman, this meant losing access to her possessions and basic necessities for her children once she had left the property:

I left. All my stuff was in the house. All my kids' stuff was in the house. We didn't have jackets. … The next day I went back to get my things and he had barred all the windows and doors. I called the RCMP … they said that they had nothing to do with it. … They said that I would have to go through supreme court to get my things out … I could not legally go into that house to get my children's clothes. I had nothing. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Women were asked whether they had to go outside of their communities to access help. Of the 16 responses received, 7 said that they did have to leave their communities to seek services elsewhere and 9 said that they did not. However, several interviewees who said that they did not also stated that they did not want to or could not afford to leave. In particular, 2 of the women emphasized that they appreciated the rural environment of their communities and did not want to have to lose their surroundings to escape abuse. One participant described this as:

… I loved living out there and that's part of what is so hard to leave is that I had to leave that situation in order to get out of it … there were a lot of good reasons why I chose to be there and it's quite like a different life now. It's like a whole different life. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Country Town)

Racism

For women of colour, Aboriginal women, and immigrant women, the interlocking effects of racism and sexism can significantly worsen the situation of dealing with intimate violence. As this immigrant woman noted, a fear of racism in reaching out to service providers and community members of the dominant culture is one barrier to leaving abuse:

… we don't trust, I don't trust too much, the people. I don't trust. And a different culture, totally different, different people that I don't trust. There is, from some people, discrimination too for the colour. I didn't have any experience, but for some people, we can feel even if nothing is said. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Country Town)

Social Stigma

Stigmatization also operated as a barrier to disclosing and leaving abusive relationships. One woman made reference to the type of shame she experienced as a consequence of her spouse communicating to others about their relationship:

… I didn't want it getting out in the community and I had no control over that because he was out in the community talking to people who we didn't even know, about everything. I felt isolated because I had talked to people and there was no support. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Many women characterized the commonly-held stereotypes about abused women that they would be forced to confront upon disclosure. One woman noted that

A lot of people stereotype them unfairly as being poor and uneducated and foolish. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another said:

… I still believe that they think … the relationships are two alcoholics that are on welfare that fight constantly, you know that stereotype that people have, you know that it's only the poor, low class. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Two women mentioned the role of the news media in perpetuating stereotypical attitudes towards women survivors of violence. As one of them recounted, the media portray women,

Like lepers. It is their fault. Just leave, get out, don't subject us to it. I don't want to hear your whining. … Women are seen as fools. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another talked about living in a middle-class milieu around which was constructed an expectation of "all these perfect houses and supposedly little families" (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town). As a result, the response she received from others was disbelief and advice for resolving conflict.

Another added that other feminists also deny the reality of violence:

I would say that no woman there would ever want to admit that she was abused. … There's a lot of women out there who would consider themselves feminists … that would make it harder for me to find somebody to talk with about it because it's like, "We're not abused. We're above that, thank you." (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Country Town)

Commitment to the Relationship

Another factor that emerged for women when leaving their relationships was their feelings of commitment to their spouses and their homes. This manifested as the hope that the relationship would improve and that the abuse would stop. In addition, women were reluctant to abandon a relationship in which they had invested effort and time. One participant explained:

… it's really hard to leave a place that you love and have put a lot of time into and a relationship that you've put a lot of love and work into. And I guess that really needs to be acknowledged. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Country Town)

Several women mentioned being caught in the dynamics of abuse whereby they felt that they could not leave the abuser because they did not want to seem rejecting or heartless. One survivor described leaving and then returning, despite the support she received from those around her. As she put it:

I stayed with my friend for a while. The pull, I don't understand it, but the pull was so strong that I went back to him in three weeks. Even though people were offering help. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Formation of Networks

Seven women mentioned creating their own support networks with friends to enable coping and preparations for leaving. One woman characterized the critical benefit she received from these connections:

…even though I felt very, very isolated in my particular living situation, I still maintained contact with my family, with friends. That seemed to be the lifeline for me, is to have people out there that I could talk to. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

One participant noted that she was able to get closer to people in a rural area than in an urban area, thereby facilitating the establishment of supportive friendships. Another found that being able to confide in friends helped her not to "feel crazy" (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville). One interviewee, an immigrant woman, talked about the necessity of linking up with people who speak the same language:

Immigrant women who ask for help, especially with someone, a friend, who speaks the same language, get advice, and talk, and don't hide. (Survivor 3, age 41-55, Country Town)

One interviewee discussed how she was able to rebuild a sense of herself by engaging in outside, paid work. Her exposure to external work combined with interactions with other people helped her enormously in generating the confidence to leave her relationship.

3. COMMUNITY RESPONSES

Once women disclosed their abuse or made the decision to leave, they received varying responses from community services and community members. These responses were influenced by the rural and isolated nature of their environments, attitudes toward abused women, and the availability of appropriate, qualified services.

Access and Availability of Services

Interviewees noted that most of the community-based services are full and that there are long waiting lists. In addition to this, many services are not accessible because of the necessity of travel and the accompanying lack of public transportation. Moreover, user fees operate as a deterrent to many women who do not have access to sufficient financial resources or whose financial freedom is controlled by their abusers. One woman recalled her attempt to get immediate counselling services for sexual abuse at the local women's centre:

… I was told six months and then it was, oh yeah, we're talking close to two years actually. It's ridiculous. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Country Town)

Another woman was unable to receive immediate aid because of her inability to pay fees:

It was really hard to find a counsellor who would take me for free. For a long time, I was on my own because I couldn't afford to pay. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Several interviewees referred to the lack of adequate transportation and the cost of transportation as barriers to obtaining services. Many of the services are located in urban areas, requiring substantial travelling. This was especially emphasized as it impacted on the need for immediate, emergency shelter or help:

Women that live in the country, what can they do if it happens in the middle of the night, they don't have access to the phone because they have to run out of the house, where do they go. If they don't have a vehicle, there's no buses. In the city there's buses. There's more places like lanes and buildings to hide until you catch a bus and there's things that are open. Here … everything's closed at a certain time so where do you go? Do you hide in a garbage bin? I don't know. And a lot of people are asleep. So where does a woman go for help at night? (Survivor 1, age 41-55, Country Town)

Over half the interviewees (12) noted the lack of services or limited services in small and rural communities relative to urban environments.

There aren't the number of services in a rural area. We're pretty lucky here in the last couple of years just to have the transition house and the crisis line, but before that we didn't have those services, and most rural communities don't. You have to go a long way to get those services. When they're not offered in your area, often you don't know about them either. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another specifically mentioned the lack of women-centered services. As she put it:

For the average woman, I feel that they are not getting adequate support, adequate counselling. In a big city you have Victim Services, you have well run transition houses, you have women advocates giving speeches and talking to these women. Group meetings. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

In addition, one interviewee observed that there are inadequate services available for women who are non-English speaking.

Of the 20 women interviewed, 14 referred to women's centres and transition houses, and 5 mentioned the crisis line as being the safest avenue to communicate about the violence they were experiencing. One referred to going to a self-help group which was offered by a local community group. Several responses overlapped, in that interviewees mentioned a number of other avenues including talking to friends and family. However, 7 also said that there were no safe places for women to communicate about violence, particularly for immigrant women. One participant stated that the safest thing to do was to tell everyone about the violence.

Existing Community Services

Crisis Lines

While crisis lines were mentioned as one option by which women could safely communicate about violence, many interviewees also pointed out the shortcomings of using this avenue. They noted that many telephones record numbers that have been dialed out, thereby alerting the abuser that their partner sought outside help. As well, many rural areas have party lines or use a telephone system that is audibly accessible to all inhabitants in the immediate area, thereby compromising the confidentiality and safety of women living with abuse. In addition, crisis lines often operate from distant areas and a call could result in long-distance charges which women may not be able to afford, or which would be readily identifiable on the telephone bill.

Transition Houses

Transition houses were one of the most frequently cited safe venues for communicating about violence. Of the women interviewed, 7 had gone to a local transition house or a women-centred service. All of these women reported positive responses. Many of the houses also offer second stage support groups for survivors who have left violent relationships and some offer support groups for women who are in violent relationships. However, the location of transition houses, by necessity, is confidential and, hence, many women are not able to access these services unless they have been brought to the transition house by advocates or referred there by the police. Nevertheless, for many of the women interviewed, this was the only place they considered to be safe. As this participant said:

I'd say the transition house is a safe place to discuss it. That was the only place I felt I was really safe to discuss it. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Interviewees reported that the direction they received from workers at the transition houses helped them make decisions that best suited them:

They were helping me to find out the best for me to make a decision, what I was going to do and what was the best for me and my daughter. (Survivor 3, age 41-55, Country Town)

In particular, this process of nonjudgmental support was credited with giving the women greater courage and strength:

Without them, I don't think I would have made it. They gave me a lot of help and they gave me a lot of courage. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

Not only did women say that these programs were helpful, but they also noted that in some instances where they had been accompanied by women advocates from the transition house or a women-centred service, they were often able to access other services more efficiently.

For one woman, however, both the location and the secrecy of the transition house rendered it inaccessible:

But there was no transition house or safe house where I lived. Or, there may have been a safe house network, but I wasn't aware of it; it wasn't something that was public at the time. I have since heard that there may have been something like that at the time, but I had no idea, and nobody else that I knew did either. Welfare wasn't very helpful. I was so poor, and I was kept poor. Basically, if there was something that I needed, their response was that I needed to move to the city. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Further, the long waiting lists for the transition houses and the scarcity of other outreach services and programs they offered often meant that there was no room available to accommodate women:

I went to groups through the transition house's [outreach program]. I was going for quite awhile but unfortunately what happened was there were so many women that they were running out of room so the ones that had been there the longest, had to move on. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

Counsellors

Six women reported telling their counsellors about the abuse. In 5 of these cases, counselling services were offered by local community agencies and included women's centres, transition house, drug and alcohol addiction programs, and the crisis centre. One counsellor did not provide any response, 1 was highly supportive, 1 told the woman what her options were, 1 advocated leaving the relationship, another advocated staying, and 1 did not believe the woman.

Interviewees also mentioned the instability of counselling services, noting the waiting lists, rotation of counsellors, and the short tenure of their employment with specific agencies. As this interviewee observed:

One organization [public social service agency] has a bad reputation because, for one thing, the counsellors, I guess they don't get paid well, so they stay there until they get a better job. Starting counselling with someone who is not going to be there ten weeks later is not going to be meaningful if you have to start all over again. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In addition to the waiting lists, one interviewee specifically mentioned the economic barrier of user fees charged by private counsellors as impeding access to these services:

Like trying to find counseling that I could afford or free counseling … and I was supporting three kids as a single mum, there was no way I could afford $90 an hour or whatever the fee is. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Women-centred Services

Although for many women, their first encounter of assistance was with their friends, they subsequently received information and help from other women who were known in their communities for dealing with issues concerning woman abuse. Women who said that they received assistance and support from their local women's centre often did so with gratitude. For them, these organizations provided safety and support. As with the transition houses, the most valuable aspect of women-centred services, such as support groups and outreach programs, was that they enabled the women to come to a decision without exerting pressure or taking away their agency. As this woman said:

They don't tell us what to do but they're one-hundred percent supportive of anything that you do. They're there to listen, and guide you, and help you, and sit in court with you. I wouldn't have survived without them. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

Public Responses

The majority of the interviewees described community perceptions as being highly negative, although a few mentioned that attitudes were changing. They pointed out that the community tends to blame women for being in the abusive relationship, accepts abuse as part of normal life, stereotypes abused women, and denies or dismisses abuse. Some women mentioned that other women were complicit in blaming the victim, and that overall, the community's response was: "Why doesn't she just leave?"

Denial

Survivors reported that friends, family, and other members of their communities often denied the existence of woman abuse generally or the reality of the woman's own abuse when they attempted to disclose. One participant highlighted the community's denial about violence against women. She said:

It seems to me that abuse is something that isn't talked about. It's kind of like sexual abuse was for the first 25 years of my life. It was just not out there as a topic of discussion or as a place where people could sit down and work out problems. It was just something that was swept under the rug and that's what it seems to be with this kind of violence or this kind of abuse. … The part that hurts the most is that women [here] … are in just as much denial or more as men, about what is happening to women. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Blaming the Victim

Interviewees noted that in many cases, community response was expressed in the form of victim blaming, which was underpinned by the commonly asked question of why women won't just leave the abusive relationship. Several interviewees also pointed to the role of the news media in perpetuating this attitude. As one woman said:

I think there's still a real attitude out there that why do they put up with it, why don't they leave? And what they don't understand is sometimes you're better off where you are, it's actually safer in the relationship than trying to leave it. And a lot of people don't say that. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Country Town)

Another participant observed that abuse is often characterized in a way that portrays the woman "as the troublemaker" (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville).

Normalization of Abuse

Several women mentioned that woman abuse was accepted as part of normal behaviour in their communities. One woman who recounted a public awareness initiative that she was involved with at the time, very clearly illustrated how violence against women is rendered invisible and acceptable:

One guy, two of them, were mad about the survey. They said that it was biased, that it made men look really bad. So I said, "What do you do when that situation happens, when you see a woman being abused?" One said, "I don't get involved. That is not my business. That is private; that is their relationship." So I said, "O.K., if you are walking down the street and you see one guy beating on another little guy, what would you do?" He said, "Well, I would go and help." "So you would help him, but you wouldn't help a woman?" And the guy stood there and said, "You know, you're right." It was the first guy I have ever heard say that. I always use that example. He couldn't see that he saw it that way, that a woman isn't worth protecting. And women are basically evil. It is still there. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

As with urban areas, sexism and sex role socialization act to normalize violence against women. Three survivors expressed this dynamic. The first observed how this was experienced by women:

Women are afraid of words. In history, women haven't had much power and it has come to a point where women see themselves as nothing. When you are nothing, you are so controlled. You can control someone with words. You don't have to hit them. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

The second observed how this was expressed by men:

I was talking about him and his buddies. They all basically came from the same sort of thinking, that women were dirt and they, being men. … Like "I'm a man," that was their favourite thing to say. Big deal. What is that? But they always reinforced each other's behaviour. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

The third woman compared how girls and boys are raised to think of themselves.

… in the family, little boys and girls are different. The boy has more freedom to go wherever they want to go and they cannot do anything at home. But the little girls, they have to do everything at home. Here's the mama doing everything. And they are not allowed to march out. It's part of the culture and of course, after coming here, they grow up and they think they have to be all the time down. Yeah, the way how parents treat children, boys and girls in America is most the time for the boys is up, girls are down. (Survivor 3, age 41-55, Country Town)

Withdrawal

Another reaction by community members that women experienced following disclosure was the withdrawal of friendships or interactions. One survivor detailed her own experience:

Well in my situation, you really felt that there was this division that just kind of happened where there were people who were willing to be friendly and talk to me and other people who all of a sudden, people who had always waved and chatted with me in the past, wouldn't even notice me. They'd kind of walk by and have this funny little sideways glance where I didn't exist. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Another saw this withdrawal as a reluctance of people to act as confidants during crisis:

I think there's a stigma about it. I really do, I think people kind of pull away. They don't have the ability, I think, to … maybe it's fear of them being dumped on, or held as having some kind of dependence because I think they see it as the woman's fault. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Country Town)

Supportive Responses

For some, friends were instrumental in providing immediate safety. One woman hid in her friend's home for 5 days until her welfare cheque was available. Other women said that they had received support from community residents when they left their relationships. For example, one participant expressed her confidence that she could rely on those around her:

There are a lot of people who would receive me with open arms. I know I have places to go if anything happens. Friend's homes. … Now there is always someone I can tell. I feel good about that. Those are personal friends. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Intimacy and Lack of Anonymity

Four interviewees described the lack of anonymity they experienced in a small or rural community as hindrances to leaving abusive relationships. As this interviewee said:

People are afraid to get involved because everybody knows everybody. There is no anonymity in speaking your mind. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

The close-knit nature of the community made it especially difficult for women to safely hide from their abusers when fleeing the relationship:

I couldn't get lost. There is no way to do it unless you put yourself in a hole. (Survivor 6, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

This intimate environment interacts with the lack of local services in creating further danger for the rural woman attempting to leave an abusive relationship. As one woman stated:

If you have an angry man and you live on a small island, he would definitely know where you are. In the city, you are not stuck with the ferries. That makes a difference. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

The lack of anonymity also causes a safety concern for transition houses, which often experience difficulty maintaining the confidentiality of their location:

Even the transition house is hard to keep anonymous, if that is important. Do we put the big sign up and say here we are, or not? It is hard to keep that kind of resource private. In other transition houses , I have seen the women have the men come and pick them up and so that word gets spread quickly. … Anonymity is a challenge and having to use ferries to get somewhere else. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In addition, because of living in small towns and communities, some women mentioned that knowledge about their abuse was subsequently used to label them. As one interviewee noted:

Well, everybody finds out about it, you know, that you've been in an abusive relationship. You get labeled that in a small community. You can't start over unless you leave. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Some women felt that the embarrassment and shame accompanying abuse was greater in an environment in which little anonymity existed. Two women noted that the abuser's connections within the community had made them more vulnerable:

Everyone knows everyone else's business. My partner made up stories about how wonderful he is and how horrible I am. He went to the cops and reported bizarre incidents that I had done. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

The abuser will know a lot of people. He is going to have his say. In a rural area we have gossip and by the time the story gets back it is very elaborate. Gossip is a problem and it will hurt the woman in the long run. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

However, the lack of anonymity also worked favourably for one woman as she felt that people knew her and her partner well enough to decide who was believable. She explained:

Everyone knows X and everyone knows me and if there are two people in court, who are they going to believe? I work full time and I look after the kids all the time. I was never afraid of losing my kids. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

4. INSTITUTIONAL RESPONSES

Interviewees reported that they had accessed or attempted to obtain social and medical services from a range of institutions and community-based organizations. The institutions that they had approached included the medical system (physicians and hospitals), the criminal justice system (police, legal aid, lawyers, victim assistance services and courts), and the Ministry of Human Resources which is mandated to provide social assistance. The community-based organizations they mentioned included transition houses, women's centers, and counselling programs provided by community centres. Many of the responses overlapped and referenced services from both community and institutional services.

Knowledge about Services

Many of the interviewees appeared to have "stumbled" onto services from their initial attempts at dealing with the abuse. Five of the interviewees received information about services from friends, acquaintances and through "word of mouth" and from others who were using similar services. Four said that they had received information from the women's centre and the transition house. One mentioned going to a neighbourhood house and finding information there, another called the crisis centre, and 1 went to a resource centre for single parents. One interviewee mentioned finding the information through the newspaper. Another was referred to services by her doctor. And 2 got information from the police. In one case:

… the police officer gave me the crisis line card and wouldn't leave until I called the crisis line or a friend. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Only 1 woman had the information she needed immediately, and that was because she worked in the area of domestic violence. Another acquired the information by volunteering at the local women's centre.

I learned a lot when I volunteered at the women's centre. The centre was only open for a year. They had free legal workshops and I went to them. (Survivor 3, 26-40, Rural Ville)

Health and Social Services

Interviewees were asked about their accessibility to, confidence in, and responses from health and social services. The majority of the interviewees had used a combination of services. Most of them mentioned using social services (11) , which many of them defined as Income Assistance or welfare. An additional 8 had accessed medical services. However, their responses varied regarding the helpfulness of these services and their confidence in them.

Social Services

As mentioned above, many women construed social services as akin to Income Assistance or welfare benefits from the Ministry of Human Resources. All the women who responded to the question as to whether they had confidence in this service said no. Many indicated that the service had to respond to their needs because it was mandated to do so. When asked what was most helpful about the service they received, many said that the degree of help provided was contingent on the particular worker they were assigned. Some workers were very effective and supportive, while others were not. However, most women who did receive Income Assistance/welfare benefits said that the money was very helpful in that it enabled them to survive. Women who had children were particularly appreciative of the assistance (financial and social) they received from the Ministry of Human Resources. As one woman put it:

I got some money. It was barely enough. I was told to move into a cheaper place. I was told to move out of this area. I was told to work three jobs if I had to. Once your children reach six, you have to go out and work. They were helpful with my older son. He was having problems in school with his anger. They got him involved in counselling at the community centre. He liked that. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

However, another interviewee had a negative experience with this same Ministry. She recounted that:

I felt like a nobody, an unknown. I felt like a victim. I felt like I was begging. I felt like I had failed. They did their job, but it was impersonal and that is not what I needed. Impersonal fill in the papers, dot the i's. I was on social assistance for three years and I always felt terrible about it … we could survive, but just barely. And that was a form of abuse. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

This feeling of being demeaned and degraded was echoed by a number of the women interviewed (6). They did not wanted to be treated as another "statistic." One woman noted how the impersonality and stigmatization of the system is mediated by age, race, and marital status.

… for a native woman who is a single woman, from what I felt, the barriers must be tenfold to what I felt. So that made me really aware of if you're not married and white … and also, teenagers, teenage mothers. Because I look really young, and a lot of people think I'm a teenage mother and so I get that look from people who see me as if I'm a single mother with my child, and they look down on me as if I'm trash or something. And now that I'm married, they look at me with respect because I'm married. It's very frustrating! (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Another woman described how impersonality interacted with her recovery from alcoholism.

When I went there, I felt like a non-person before I even walked in the door. I guess it is the social perception of abused women. I felt that when I walked in there. I didn't feel like I deserved it, even. I was a recovering alcoholic so I was already seen as a bum. It all boils down to belief systems against women. Not only do I have them, the people I am trying to get help from have them. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

One interviewee noted she found this intimidating and, as a result, delayed seeking help.

The system is just an inelegant system. By, unfortunately, its nature, it is an abusive thing. It is that impersonality. People are awfully vulnerable when they walk in those doors. It took me eight months to think I would do this. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Two women mentioned child apprehension as a potential or actual consequence of their accessing social services. In one case, the child was apprehended and removed from the mother's custody as a result of allegations of child sexual abuse by the ex-partner. These allegations were later disproved. Another interviewee mentioned how the Ministry of Human Resources demanded information about the ex-spouse in order to secure child support payments. This was particularly frightening for her. As she recounted:

I remember the time when I found out that legally, they couldn't turn me away. They wanted me to get money off my husband to live. It took quite a bit for them to understand. I think they are trained to discourage you from coming there. It was scary. It was terrifying to go from that sort of demeaning thing to another demeaning thing. The process was not pretty. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Yet, another woman talked about how the ex-spouse would harass her by reporting her income to the Ministry. She would then have to go in and speak to a worker to try and rectify the situation. Several women mentioned that going to the Ministry of Human Resources or another government based social service organization was not helpful as they were often told to leave their communities and access the services they required in urban areas. As this interviewee stated:

They are always trying to tell me how to live, that I should be living with other people, or that I shouldn't be living here. I should be renting a room. It feels like the same kind of control that he had over me. It has been a long road of getting help from other people. Who I got help from was [an advocacy group] against poverty. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

One of the interviewees mentioned that the lack of coordination between government­based social services was particularly difficult for her. As she said:

When I did finally get to go to work, I worked hard. For social services, the worker and the supervisor who knows the situation, I was denied U.I., or E.I. benefits because I didn't have enough hours because I never worked in the workplace before. E.I. didn't know this. I did, naturally work in the past, but could not tell them this. I thought that the least Human Resources could do, cause I also have to get investigated from the Human Resources Development, on my side, at least they could have done was talk to them and I would have been able to get my benefits. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

One interviewee said she did not have information about where she could go to get services, and another referred to the lack of services in her community. Another said that she hoped that the attitude of the Ministry would change when they are dealing with women survivors of abuse.

Yet another interviewee raised the lack of retraining programs aimed at getting women survivors back into the workforce and by extension, economically independent. As she said:

One thing I found frustrating was that I wanted to be retrained. They said that I was too old. The government was putting money into young people right now. I requested assistance in getting off welfare and they told me that I was too old for retraining. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Several women discussed the insufficient allowances that welfare services provided for them to successfully leave the relationship and survive. One woman was on social assistance while taking a training work program:

It's very difficult having two kids. I just started working here and about a year and half ago. Welfare cut me off because they found out I was working a year and half ago, just to survive and didn't declare it because I had problems with this car, I needed the car to get this work, and basically, once the rent was paid, I had $300 to pay for telephone, hydro, and food and plus what my kids need in school and stuff like that. (Survivor 1, age 41-55, Country Town)

Yet another woman spoke about how she was forced to "cheat" the system to survive. In her case, the social assistance office had refused her request for additional funds so that she could make repairs to the tires in her car. Instead, they told her to move to the city where local transportation was available, which meant leaving her community and support networks. As she said:

I couldn't do that, so I did work under the table and saved it up for my tires and I got those, and by the time I was done that, it was time to start saving up for my car insurance, and I did that, and then I saved up probably six to eight hundred dollars more, and I had been dating a man for about a year by that time, and he moved in with me and I got off welfare, and I had a bit of money that I'd stashed away as a safety net, because then I had to pay for my own medical and my own dental, and my own daycare, and I needed that money as a safety net. So, that's basically how I did it, I had to cheat the system and then move in with somebody. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Only one interviewee referred to other kinds of social services such as counselling. She said that she would be very cautious in terms of who she chose to deal with to access these services. This same interviewee also said that she had had a positive experience with her doctor.

Health Services

Of the 20 women, 10 had accessed medical services with 8 who went to see their physicians, 1 who had attempted to go to the Mental Health Association but could not access their services, and 1 who had seen a psychiatrist.

Physician Response

Eight women went to their doctors. The doctors' responses varied. Four interviewees reported negative experiences, 3 mentioned positive experiences. Of those who described their responses, 1 doctor did not respond, 3 told the woman to leave, 1 advocated counselling and mediation, 1 was dismissive and didn't believe the woman. One doctor was highly abusive when he aggressively told the interviewee to leave. As she recounted:

Well a friend of mine went to my family doctor and told him. So the next time I went in there, but he didn't handle it very well, I didn't think. He yelled at me. I thought this was a very inappropriate thing for a doctor to say. He said, "Get your head out of the sand baby. Leave him." Which I thought was almost abusive in itself. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

Some of the other doctors that the interviewees mentioned, either told them to leave or were dismissive of their experiences. Even the psychiatrist that one interviewee sought advice from did not respond appropriately.

One interviewee mentioned that while medical services were available, there was a lack of subsidized individual and group therapy, community-based counselling, and self-help programs, and for those programs that were available the waiting lists were very long. As she put it:

… how do you get the services for free. There's no way I could do all this. That would be impossible. And you just have to wait 'till … like I've been on lists for two years and it was like, "Well, jeez, by the time they call me … I mean I'm still ready to do it but I sure could have done it right at the critical stage. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Country Town)

The Criminal Justice System

The questions asked under this category dealt with the response of different facets of the criminal justice system. These ranged from police response, victim assistance services, legal information and legal aid, courts, as well as peace bonds and restraining orders.

Police Intervention

Of 20 interviewees, 10 said they called the police themselves. In 3 cases the neighbours called and in 1 case the woman's parents called. Seven did not call the police for a variety of reasons. These included: the possibility that they would not be believed, the illegality of drugs that were part of their environment, and, in one case, the fact (at that time) that she would have to charge her partner. As she said:

No. God, it was a long time ago. There was shoving and hitting, but I always rejected the idea when I thought of it later, that I should be charging him. … I could never do it. I could just not do it. At that time I would have had to lay the charges myself. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another identified a key area of concern for women living in rural communities - she knew the policemen (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville). One woman mentioned the impossibility of calling police while being attacked. As she put it:

Well one of the reasons, like I said, you've got this raging creature beside you and when you get on the phone, you've got to explain in great detail what is going on. How are you able to do that? (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

Two respondents mentioned police intervention as a method they used to temporarily escape from the situation and alleviate any threat of violence.

Police Response

Interviewees were asked how the police had responded and whether they had been helpful and become involved. The question regarding helpfulness highlighted the complexity of the issue. For instance, if police do what they are mandated to do, is this considered helpful? For the purposes of this section, "helpfulness" is defined in terms of how the police treated the women, whether they were supportive and if they referred or took women to a shelter/safe place. It is also defined in terms of their involvement in the case, i.e., did they ask the woman if she was safe or whether she required other services.

In all 14 cases in which the police had been called, they responded. They came to the site and in some cases, took statements and arrested the abuser. In other cases, they simply came and assessed the situation and were not helpful or did not become involved (9). As this interviewee reported:

Oh, it must have been a good twenty-minutes, half-hour or more. By that time I had chairs under the doorknobs. I had to take the furniture away from the doors to let them in. They only stayed for a few minutes, they asked me some questions. … Well, was I hurt in any way. The fact that he had smashed some more of my stuff from the few meager things I had didn't really make much difference. Where was he now, but I didn't know. Basically they just asked some questions that weren't very helpful, and left. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another interviewee recounted a more negative experience with the police where she was basically told to leave her residence or they would apprehend the children. She said:

I was told that they were sick and tired of being called out. That of all the thousands of couples living here, I was the only one that ever had any problems and that if I didn't leave him, they were going to make sure that my children were taken from me. When I called, he had come home while the kids were there and he was drunk. He started after me. He grabbed me. He started punching me around, throwing things around. The kids disappeared. The kids had called the police from another house. It took a half-hour for them to get there and by that time, he had already left. I was scared because I didn't know where my kids were. The police knocked on the door and said that they were tired of this. It had happened twice before. It was my third call. They told me to pack up and leave or they were going to phone child protection. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

She added that the police had told her that they were not going to look for her partner as "they didn't have time to waste." In this situation, the police did not take any notes or advise her on what could be done. In another instance, the interviewee was asked to come down to the police station and submit a written complaint. As she said:

… they told me to go home and write it out. So I went home and wrote it out and then I went back down and they took the statement and then they called, somebody called me - I'm not sure at that point if it was crown counsel or if it was the RCMP - and told me that they were going to arrest him. (Survivor 2, age 41-55, Country Town)

She was notified of the arrest eight weeks later. In another case, a neighbour phoned the police when she was asked to do so by the interviewee. As this survivor recalled:

I was in my jammies with my daughter and she was about 18 months old, just a baby. … I knew that he was at a point of no return in his behaviour because he tried to grab my esophagus and pull and I just basically had reacted out. I think I poked him in the eyes. And then when he tried to grab me again, I grabbed his hand and I bit his thumb and that's how I got out of the house. And then I was screaming and [my neighbour], I think she phoned the police. And basically he left because he knew the police were going to be called. So I came in to dress and take the kids and leave and then he came back. And then the police had arrived and then I was able to leave. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

The police, she surmised, took a report from him. They never followed up with her. Yet another interviewee said that she "learned that [she] didn't have any rights" when she called the police (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville). Another interviewee said that when the police arrived, the abuser was extremely sociable and she had to point out the signs of damage in the house before they arrested and removed him from the premises (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville).

Positive Response

Five of the 14 interviewees who had called the police said that they were either somewhat or very helpful to them personally. In 2 of these cases, initial police response had been negative, but once the police officers got to know the particular case, their response was subsequently very supportive. As one interviewee who now lives in close proximity to the police station said:

After [her spouse] beat me up, the police would come driving in and he would run out all messed up and ripped shirt and screaming, yelling, "Help me, help me. She's crazy. She's beating me up." So the police didn't know what to think either. At the time, I didn't really know them and they didn't really know me and I would deny a lot. So it was hard for them to help me. … They know me and they know my address and so they come right away. . . Well, they've been like that for about three years now. They've been marvelous. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

Another interviewee who has a high profile in the community received a great deal of support from the police, and continues to do so even today. She was aware of the preferential treatment she was being given as a result of her position in the community and remarked that she did not think that was fair. One interviewee noted that in her situation the police were helpful because they warned her that the abuser was going to be coming by to pick up his things. As she said:

And the next morning… I received a phone call saying, "He's going to have a police accompaniment, he's going to come by tomorrow to pick up a few things, maybe you can make yourself scarce." Which I did. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

One woman appreciated that she was given direction in a supportive way:

I did do some hinting. First I sat on it a little while then I did some hinting and some discussions. There was basically no response except from the RCMP … that person was clearly supportive. I don't know, that without his support, I would have gone through the assault charge. He was just so adamant that that was what I must do. I almost felt as though I wanted someone else to make the decision for me and he did. … My head was spinning so much that it made it so much easier when the police took it out of my hands and said, "This is what we do. This is our job and this is the law." They took it out of my hands in a secure way. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Confidence in Police

Interviewees were asked about their confidence in the police in terms of helping women who are abused. Of 18 interviewees who responded, 13 said they that they were not confident. The remaining 5 indicated that they were confident to varying degrees. Several attributed the lack of confidence to the police's lack of resources, insufficient training, and rules that require 2 police officers to be present when investigating a situation involving domestic violence. One interviewee attributed police ineffectiveness to attitude and the organization of police culture around gender roles:

No. I don't think they have a clue. They don't understand it. They are just the old boys. Well, if she keeps going back … that kind of attitude. Once in awhile we get someone from the city who has training in violence and abuse. But he gets taken into the old boys club. Christ, they can't even keep the kids from stealing my license plate. I don't think they could handle, efficiently or effectively, an intense, emotional situation between a man and a woman. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another respondent shared this perspective:

Well, they are mostly men. The root of the problem is socialization and most men have been socialized that way. I don't think they have a truly compassionate way of seeing it. All the ways of being judged. Both the husband and the wife are seen in a negative light. It's judgmental, it's not helpful. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

One interviewee attributed the lack of police response and involvement to their lack of resources. As she put it:

I think our local police are too stretched. There's not enough of them out there to deal with these kinds of things. … I'm just speaking from another experience that I have had and am having … of having been stalked by the same man for several years, over ten years. This is still ongoing. I finally went to the police last fall and they still haven't gone and contacted him and this is almost six months later. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Another interviewee considered the lack of police response to be less incidental.

No. Not that they can't, but they won't. If they want to look for a man who has just beaten up a woman, they can find him. They choose not to. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Those who were confident of police ability to deal with woman abuse were largely qualified in their response. Some said the police can deal with violence against women provided that they receive additional training. Others said that individual officer's familiarity with cases made them more accessible and supportive. Still others mentioned how commitment from senior officers can make the force more willing and able to respond to woman abuse. As this interviewee said:

Yeah, I thought that they did a pretty good job and I know the present day sergeant and he takes it very seriously … I don't know how much they can do. A disadvantage here, maybe where they can't help, is that there is only one or two police cars out. … I think they are helpful but I think they are limited in their ability to provide immediate response so that can be scary for someone who is being threatened. It is such a rural community. Who knows what time will have elapsed by the time they find you? (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Several interviewees indicated that some police officers were extremely good, but that these were the minority.

Victim Services

Interviewees were asked whether they were aware of Victim Services or had been contacted by them. In addition, they were asked whether the response they had received had been helpful. The majority of women were neither contacted by, nor aware of, Victim Services. Out of 20 interviewees, 7 had been contacted, and 1 had contacted Victim Services herself. Three interviewees said that the services had been very helpful and effective, and another 3 were disappointed and considered it ineffective. Those who had found it effective indicated that the workers had put them in touch with the transition house and counselling services. However, one interviewee described the incomplete services she received in the referral process:

I didn't know about the Victim Service program until the Attorney General's department sent me a letter and said that the service was available. Actually, I called them because I wanted to understand what would happen in the system. I called, they had a client come in and said they would call me back and they didn't. That was it. It was my first safe place to tell. It was away from here and they didn't follow through on their commitment and to me, they are a contracted service and that is their job. I didn't want to chase them down (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Several women mentioned that Victim Services did not exist in their communities.

Legal Information

Questions under this category dealt with access to legal information, awareness and use of legal aid, and how women would hire a lawyer now if they wished to do so. The majority of interviewees (15) had tried to access legal information. Of these, 7 had used legal aid, and another 5 had hired lawyers. Three had not been able to access legal aid or hire a lawyer. However, all 15 had been aware of legal aid but not all had chosen to access it for a number of reasons.

Access to Legal Information

Women had tried to access legal information in a number of ways. Some had first gone to lawyers and from there, had been referred to legal aid. Others had gone directly to legal aid and had been referred there by the transition house or Social Assistance services. However, as one interviewee noted, it was not always possible to get legal information.

I did try to get legal information … and I had a lot of trouble with that. I got that legal advice that you get $10 for 30 minutes and yeah, that was to do with my house. It was a horrible 30 minutes with this lawyer. I asked him these questions and he didn't know the answer … I couldn't believe it. And then I finally realized that lawyers don't have the information that I need because it was to do with government stuff … so I didn't really get that information in the end. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Country Town)

Legal Aid

Seven of the 15 women who responded, had used legal aid services. However, they pointed out the difficulties of accessing legal aid and their dissatisfaction with the service. One difficulty was the long waiting lists for use of legal aid:

I hired a lawyer. All my savings went into that. I had a separation agreement written up. legal aid said that there was a waiting list. I was on the list, but I wanted to get it over with. I had savings when I went into this. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

A second obstacle was the absence of legal aid services in rural locations and the travel required to obtain services located in the city.

They were pretty good, but it was difficult because you have to go off island. You can't set an appointment time. You have to wait. I had to go more than once. I had three different lawyers in two months. There is a turnover at legal aid. I was finally able to get a lawyer here. I got _____, who was about as much help as … (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Finally, concerns were raised about the quality of aid that was received:

Yes I was aware of it, but I didn't try. I'd had a previous experience with legal aid where they were totally not helpful for me. It was a different thing, a residential thing, but I just found it was basically humiliating, so I never went there. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Another said:

I think I looked legal aid up in the phone book. I'd heard about it and looked it up and got legal aid. That was a disappointment because I wasn't really taken care of very much. My settlement was very poor. I was working for a cleaning company at the time and I was making under $900 a month. I got $400 a month child support. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

Lack of Public Information about Legal Aid/Services

Not knowing how the system operates and their legal rights was another significant barrier encountered by several women. This was particularly true for women who were isolated as a result of their geographic location combined with being in an abusive relationship. As this interviewee notes:

In my case, I was very isolated. There was a real lack of information for me. I didn't know what my rights were. I didn't think I had any and I didn't feel like I had any way to access them as far as legally. And of course, at that time you're dealing with a lot of men and if you're intimidated by the man that you're with, it's fairly intimidating to be dealing with men in uniform too, I think. You know, when you're in that sort of victim mode. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

One interviewee further discussed the lack of public knowledge about the availability of services such as legal aid, particularly in rural areas. She said:

I may have been aware of it, but I wouldn't have known how to go about contacting it. This stuff should be common knowledge and when they talk about education in school, that is part of it. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Lawyers

Only 5 of the 15 women who responded, had seen lawyers. Of these, 2 reported positive experiences and had good prior relationships with the lawyers. Another 2 did not elaborate on how they felt about the lawyer's performance, and 1 had a negative experience.

Many women could not afford to retain a lawyer, but had to do so in order to get their divorces processed quickly because of the waiting lists, scarcity of legal aid lawyers in rural areas, and the lack of coverage for specific services by legal aid.

When asked what they would do now if they were to require legal services or information, 4 out of the 9 women who responded to this question, said they would contact legal aid. Another 5 said they would hire a lawyer based on the references they received from their network of friends and support services. However, many of them mentioned that they would initially see a lawyer for a half-hour free or cheap consultation just to get a sense of the kind of information or services they would require.

Economic Barriers

Economic barriers were cited frequently as reasons for not obtaining legal services and pursuing cases through the court system. As this interviewee noted:

Economically, because I can't afford a lawyer. I scraped up my last $25 so my friend could take me over to legal aid only to be told that legal aid does not do divorces. They passed me a pamphlet and sent me on my way. I don't have money so I can't afford a lawyer. To this day, even though it's past a year, I cannot afford my divorce. Even with a divorce kit, it is three hundred dollars. How many women can? (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another commented on the same difficulty:

I guess more help getting a divorce. I haven't got a divorce yet because I could have used more legal help and financial help. They will pay for the child custody. They'll pay us to find out about the child custody thing. They'll give us legal aid for that, is what I mean. But for the actual divorce, no assistance. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Country Town)

The Courts

Of the 20 interviewees, 9 reported having gone to court, some of them on numerous occasions. Five said that their experience was either positive or satisfactory. Two said they had very negative experiences, and two did not indicate how they had been treated. Interviewees were asked if they were confident in the courts' ability to protect women from abusive partners. Seventeen interviewees responded to this question, and of the responses, 15 were negative and 2 were positive.

Reasons for Not Going to Court

Reasons that interviewees provided for not going to court varied and shed some light on the concerns affecting rural women. The most prevalent barrier cited was financial constraints. Another obstacle to the use of court services include distance and lack of anonymity. As one woman said:

And again, like with the court system, when you're working on a budget, there's no leeway for that. You don't get given extra money to travel to court. The courthouse has closed here … which is a real drag. Having to travel to court is not fun, especially when you're already not feeling safe. Having to leave your home and community and go out, and the possibility of bumping into him or somebody who knows him. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Another noted that:

When the agreement was just filed by the lawyer and Supreme Court, but when the assault charge came, I chose not to go to court. He went and he pleaded guilty. Who wants to go to court when everybody there knows you? People are there for their charges and suddenly your story is on stand and again your privacy is gone. It is all out there. They even raised the fact that I did have someone else in my life. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another respondent indicated that she avoided court because of the fear of continued harassment by her abuser:

Well I didn't go to court. It was all settled very quietly. You see the thing was, I told my lawyer at that point my mind-set was, because he kept harassing me all the time and harassing me, phoning me like six, eight times a day and sometimes twelve times a day. And I still had such a healthy fear of him that I never even thought I had any rights concerning the phone calls and stuff. All I wanted to do was get the divorce over with. I just wanted to be rid of him. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

Court Harassment

Two interviewees referred to their experience of being harassed in court, albeit in different ways and to different degrees. One had a particularly negative experience. As she recounted:

The crown counsel didn't care; it was just another domestic abuse case. I had charged him with assault and that was the first time. I didn't speak to the crown counsel before I went on the witness stand. … For an assault charge, he got to have his say in court. I didn't. I got to answer one question, basically. Did he assault you? "Yes." He got to have his say and then the judge said he was sick and tired of hearing of cases like this. He gave him a $150 fine and three-months probation … I walked out of there thinking, "What is the use?" They had pictures of the bruises he put on my arms. … When my partner said, "Sometimes a man has to put his foot down," the judge actually laughed. The judge had asked why he kicked me. He made a joke and the judge laughed. I thought, "What is the use?" (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In this case, as in others, woman abuse was not taken seriously by either the crown counsel or the judge. However, this interviewee's experience also reveals the lack of information and the expectations that many women survivors have about the role of the crown counsel. Another interviewee said:

… I was treated really badly. Shamefully. I was astounded. I had this cop backing me and it was the biggest hope I had ever had that I would get my son help. The crown prosecutor was fumbling around like an idiot. She hadn't read the case. We had to describe the situation. I was concerned about my son's drug use. Everything was documented. Hours of work. The judge didn't see it either. After that, I realized that there was no help left. It was devastating. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

The issue of women survivors' lack of credibility in the justice system emerged throughout the responses of the survivors. Not only were women not taken seriously, but they were also silenced by the kind of abuse they faced within their relationships. This silencing was grounded in the constant fear of being killed or having their children apprehended. At the same time, the abuse impacted on their self-esteem and hence, they were doubly vulnerable when going through the criminal justice system. As this interviewee stated:

Well, I didn't feel taken that seriously. I never really feel taken seriously. It's something I'm gonna have to build in myself, to build my self-esteem. So, financially, if I had been able to hire my own lawyer and not go through legal aid, then I would have not hesitated to do more. Just empowering myself more with the support of the legal system, being backed up by them. But because I didn't want to go through legal aid, I just felt like it would be another humiliation. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Another interviewee noted her observations of other women she knew who had gone to court. She said:

I don't know whether it's the women that need as much protection as it's the kids and I've seen them hand over kids in custody suits to guys who are out of control. I've been to court with a friend and I've watched that lunatic in action. And I watched another woman who fought for her kids … and after fighting, he finally gave the girls back. The judge would not accept him giving up his custody! I think that's absolutely ludicrous. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Country Town)

Positive Experiences

Women who had had positive experiences in the courts often attributed this to the support they received from Victim Services representatives who would accompany them, as well as the crown prosecutors and judges. As this interviewee stated:

When he tried to kill two of my friends, I had to testify against him. And the nights before were the worst nights of my life because he would torment me and torture and threaten me if I testified against him. So sometimes I would just sit on the witness stand and not answer. And the judge would ask me, "Please answer," and I would just quietly say, "I can't." And then I would look at [her spouse] and look at the judge and the judge kind of caught on to what was going on. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

Another recounted her positive experience with Family Court:

I didn't know what to expect. I was scared to death. If you go to court you are bad. Implicit, I guess. It ended up being a neat experience because they were very sweet. The judge was sitting up there and said, "Well what are you doing here?" I briefly stated my case and then he asked, "Well how much do you want?" The judge said, and he was quite young, "We'll take a brief recess and you can go out with the lawyer and try to figure out what you need." This lawyer sat with me, and I was frugal then, too, and I still didn't have any idea so he said, "Well you have to think of this and keep this in mind …" He worked it right through. We worked out that I needed a $100 a month. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Other Court Issues

For one interviewee whose case dealt with custody issues, the court process was smooth and she was treated well. However, she never brought up the issue of abuse or even asked for support. As she said:

I didn't charge him for any abuse or assault or anything. I just went to secure full custody of the kids … I didn't even go after child support because the death threats were such that all I cared about was that I had the kids. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

This raises the question as to whether her case would have been treated in the same manner had it involved allegations of woman abuse. Aside from the above, one factor that was raised dealt with the lack of adequate courts and services. As this interviewee noted:

We went to court twice but the court systems were full and it was remanded the first time and the second time, instead of going before a judge or in the courtroom, they issued a peace bond and stayed the charges so that if it happened again, he would go directly to jail sort of thing. And if he was ever charged again, he would come up on all of the charges against him. (Survivor 2, age 41-55, Country Town)

Another interviewee referenced how the courts had reduced charges against her ex-partner to the extent that he received 12-months probation for death threats and assault for attempting to murder her (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville).

When asked to describe any barriers she had encountered, one interviewee summarized it rather succinctly. She said:

Because I was a woman, because I was unemployed, because I was poor, because I wanted something. Basic equality issues. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Restraining Orders and Peace Bonds

When asked if they had to get a restraining order or a peace bond, 11 out of 20 women said they did and 9 said they did not. One interviewee said that she had 5 restraining orders, all of which were ordered by the judge. Another had 2 orders in place but they were not effective. In one situation, the woman asked her lawyer to obtain it for her but he never did (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town).

Several women indicated that the restraining orders and peace bonds were not effective in deterring the abusers. One woman indicated that she had 2 peace bonds and neither was effective in protecting her (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville). Another interviewee described the ineffectiveness of restraining orders against physical threat:

My partner had restraining orders, but that didn't stop him from coming into my house. How can you do that? … There is no fine for breaking the restraining order. … He had two restraining orders and he broke them both. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

One woman added a reminder that peace bonds are not permanent solutions:

Actually the peace bond is up and he's been phoning me now. (Survivor 2, age 41-55, Country Town)

Confidence in the Criminal Justice System

Interviewees were asked about their confidence in the police and the courts in terms of helping women who are in or leaving abusive relationships. Of the 18 interviewees who responded, 13 said they had no confidence in the police's ability to protect them. The remaining 5 indicated varying degrees of confidence. Several attributed their lack of confidence to the police's lack of resources, insufficient training, and rules that require 2 police officers to be present when investigating a situation involving intimate violence. As one woman stated:

I think our local police are too stretched. There's not enough of them out there to deal with these kinds of things. They're out there doing car accidents and other kinds of criminal activity but when it comes to violence and this kind of very personal experience that we have sometimes, there's just not enough of them out there. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

Similarly, 15 out of 17 interviewees indicated that they had little confidence in the courts' ability to protect women from abusive partners. Some of them alluded to gender bias in the courts. As this survivor noted:

The courts are not prepared. I've gone to court six times and I've had a different judge every time. They're not prepared with the reading. They don't even know why there's a restraining order against him. I've had situations where I'm fighting for supervised access because of [my husband] going in and he's actually gotten himself in that situation where one judge was actually kind of progressive in that way, but then he was very anti-woman because he was against me for not being at home with the kids because I was going to school. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Country Town)

Several survivors based their lack of confidence on what they perceived to be as light sentences for woman abuse. One interviewee discussed how the courts had reduced charges against her ex-partner to the extent that he received 12 months probation for death threats and attempted murder (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville).

5. NEEDS OF SURVIVORS IN RURAL AND SMALL COMMUNITIES

Summary of Issues Central to Service Provision

The survivors raised a number of issues relevant to the provision of services in rural areas. In particular, they emphasized:

1. The lack and limited nature of services provided to rural and small communities, and the necessity of travelling to urban environments for services;
2. The lack of public transportation, lack of access to private vehicles, and expense or inadequacy of available public transportation (e.g., taxi service);
3. The geographic isolation from neighbours and other community members, thereby limiting the chance of intervention during abuse;
4. The lack of anonymity and confidentiality in service delivery and in interactions within a small community;
5. The ease with which women's movements and actions may be monitored by their abuser within an isolated, small area, thereby increasing the danger to themselves and decreasing the likelihood of escape;
6. The lack of information regarding available services, especially in languages other than English;
7. Lack of employment opportunities and income;
8. Stigmatization of abused women in rural communities.

The women offered numerous suggestions and recommendations for how these problems can be addressed and ameliorated.

Suggestions for Improving Community Response and Attitudes

Education

Half (10) of the interviewees stressed the importance of education in schools and of public education in raising awareness. As this interviewee put it:

Information, making sure that it's out there, talking about the fact that the abuse is out there for one, so that maybe the women and children who are being abused see that and realize that they are not alone, that there are others in their situation. I think it's good to talk about statistics in the specific community. It can be done in such a way that anonymity is protected, but people need to know the numbers, and it's particularly important to people who are in that situation, or know somebody they suspect is in it so that they can say, "hey, I heard this," or "I read this," or "take a look at this," or "do you know that this is out there, that you've got this option?" (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another specifically referenced the role of raising public awareness and the channels by which this could be done. As she stated:

Try to get a forum or make the general public aware that … can happen to anyone. It is usually not the fault of the women. No one provokes being treated that way. A lot of people hear their neighbour screaming and then will look the other way. Love your neighbour. If you hear something like that, you phone. Go and ask if they need help. Get involved. No one wants to know that this is happening. It might be happening in their family as well. Unless you have been through it, or unless you know about, you can't make people do it. Put up flyers. Put it in the newspaper, say that this is going on in your community. Special groups are there for property abuse, how about people abuse? Keep at it. Have meetings. Maybe after a while, people may think that there is something to it. Keep the community thinking about it. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Anti-violence education in schools was mentioned by several interviewees. In many of these cases, interviewees noted that schools are instrumental in socializing children and providing them with role models. One interviewee stated that the current anti-violence education did not go far enough. As she noted:

In elementary school, kids should start understanding what a relationship is, what it means to be with someone. What to expect and what not to expect from another person. There has been abuse training, but I don't think they are going far enough in saying, when you grow up and get in relationship, you shouldn't be touched if you don't want to be. I mean touch in many different ways. I would explain what verbal abuse is. When you get hit, you get hit and it is over. The verbal abuse hangs on. … Children need to know what not to accept in a relationship. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Yet another participant stressed the need to educate children about gender equality and to treat the genders equally within the classroom:

What comes to mind is the school. There is still a lot of talk about how little girls are treated at school. They are still treating girls as though their goal is to get married. I have talked to teenage girls who are unhappy with the school. The girls say that if they have their hands up, they are ignored. … Little boys still think it is OK to behave the way they behave and little girls still don't have any respect for themselves. They are still being taught the same negative things that I was taught. There is a lot of denial. We need to be teaching personhood. It is pretty clear that the children are not getting what they need. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another woman suggested that the schools were an ideal environment for distributing information to the community about abuse.

I think it would be great if all the teachers were really up on all the services and like if you went to the school to pick your kids up, that you'd see, let's say a big notice board. Like have it just be a comfort zone. Have it be like here are the statistics and, "Gee, we know that in this community, lots of people spend . . . there's five bars here." It's fairly obvious that there be just an awareness. Not accepting it and instead of gossiping about it or keeping secrets, one or the other. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Country Town)

Socialization

Several interviewees (4) stated that the education begins at home. Through socialization, children learn about acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. As this woman said:

Men have to be raised differently. We are doing the perpetrating by raising girls to think that somehow this is part of the game. The man is big and strong and handles the money. He makes the decisions and those kinds of things. What comes next is the hitting or the enforcing of his law. Without a man in the house, my daughter sees that we can live. We wake up, we put food on the table. Without a man, we can breathe. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Increase Community Services and Information

Seven interviewees recommended publicizing existing services and increasing community services and support. Several women discussed the need to ensure a widespread distribution of information about available resources. As one respondent suggested:

Advertised numbers to call. Some kind of brochure that outlines the steps and options. If you want to go to the transition house this is how to get help. If you don't, this is what to do. What about money? What about kids? How to access all the options. What are the economic choices? How do you keep your kids safe and what are the supports for them? Easily written information that is accessible through places like Laundromats and grocery stores. Sometimes people just don't know what is out there. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

One survivor noted that services should be available to relieve mothers from childcare and to provide support for children.

It is hard when you are in a crisis and you have all these kids. Sometimes you just need a break from them. They are not doing anything wrong. You just need time to go and think without being interrupted. Maybe somebody to give a little support to the kids, especially if you are not using the formalized transition house system. It is not for everybody. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

One interviewee mentioned having men's groups for abusive men. As she put it:

There should be a men's group to support men who are violent. There should be a group of men, not women, who he can call upon, who you can say, "I am in a crisis here. This person needs help." I don't know what to do, but it would be really good for a man to come and talk to him and help him and keep him safe so that he doesn't end up being charged, so that he doesn't end up in jail. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Trained Front-line Personnel

The need for increased services was also expressed in terms of having better informed and educated front-line service delivery personnel such as counsellors and doctors. This suggestion was also directed at the police and other workers providing services within the criminal justice and the medical systems. As one interviewee said:

I think more in-services for places that have to deal with this. Like hospital workers in emerg[ency] who may get hit with somebody, certainly the police. You know you have some officers who respond real well to stuff like that and you have others who still have that maleness. Their attitude is, "Well what did you do to provoke him?" type of thing. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Country Town)

Attitudinal Change

Some interviewees recommended changing social and psychological attitudes towards abuse. The overwhelming majority pointed to education as one way of changing social attitudes. However, one interviewee argued that women who have been abused have to change. As she stated:

I think this is something women have to do on their own. You can only make it better for yourself. You can only make that decision for yourself. You can only make that decision to do or work or struggle until you get what you want. The community can't really help much. It has to come from within. … If they are not going to decide to survive, I don't think they will. … Let's get on with our lives. It is over. Get a good job. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another interviewee spoke about the urgent need for a more aggressive community response. In her words:

I don't know what needed to be in place that could have gotten me out unless I could have understood that this was a common experience. It is catching on. People are starting to understand. … What you are battling through is a thick wall of isolation. You can't reach out. That helping hand has to be like a fist. It has to get through. It is not just your standard, "Well there is help out there." Why didn't you just go …(Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Suggestions for Improving Service Provision in Health and Social Services

Interviewees were asked to recommend ways in which the system of services could better respond to the needs of women survivors. This question elicited a range of different and creative suggestions. The most common responses outlined the need for empathic and compassionate services. In addition, several interviewees recommended the implementation of coordinated services where personnel were not rotated and were specifically trained to deal with women survivors. As well, interviewees recommended the implementation of a coordinated emergency response team which could provide information about services and resources and at the same time, ensure the safety of the women and the children.

Many of the specific recommendations articulated encompassed a variety of different services and needs. Interviewees identified the need for more education and training, for services to be publicized in different languages, early intervention programs, implementation of different criteria for accessing services by women survivors, more follow-up, additional free counselling services, financial resources, increased awareness about services, and integrative mechanisms to counter isolation. Women also suggested having more support services such as drop-in centres and a service akin to the 1-800 number for reporting child abuse.

Empathic and Compassionate Services

This was one of the most frequently cited recommendations for change. As one interviewee put it:

I think that a little compassion.. you get different workers all the time and every time someone calls me, it's always rag, rag, rag. Like you didn't send this in, you didn't send that in, this was wrong. Nothing, I never ever talked to a social worker who had any compassion. And I think that should be part of their job. We are not just a number going through the system; we are people. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another said:

There has to be a believable person involved. We need to feel like we are somebodies. We don't need to be proving our worth. … Now there is a crisis line and a transition house. Who is to know if I would have chosen that route? Up north, that wasn't available to that degree. They were at the research stage to see if there was a need. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

One of the problems identified by interviewees is that many services rotate their personnel, so the kind of response one receives is contingent on the particular worker they happen to get that specific day. Two interviewees recommended ways in which this could be changed. As one of them said:

I think that there should be somebody assigned, through Social Services, that could come over and talk to the woman about her options and not make her feel like she's just a welfare recipient. Not just a number, that she is a person, that they care, that they are going to do what they can. Not cut off her benefits. I mean this is why many women go back, so many times. If the husband leaves, the money goes. You want to support your children. You want to make sure that they have food in their mouths. And a roof over their head. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Participants pointed to the reality that most women living with violence are isolated and hence, it is necessary to have a person who can visit the women, provide them with information and access to resources, and advocate for them.

… to have that person I talked about in social services come to your home and to give you the information that you need, to offer support to help you leave, preparing to leave, money to leave, helping you to figure out a safety plan … it would be good if that person from social services could bring a package with your legal information, all your resources, extra financial support for traveling. If she could come with this and meet you somewhere that wasn't too far, where you wouldn't have to leave, because an abusive partner can get freaked out if you're leaving the house or the island, he'll be more aware of it. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Follow-up

Interviewees identified the need for more follow-up after receiving initial assistance. This could be orchestrated by the social services themselves, or it could utilize an informal network. As one interviewee stated:

They should do more follow-ups. Social Services should have a weekly thing where they come by and check. A lot of women go through one thing and then they are gone. Then the circle goes over again and that same woman is back in there six months later. (Survivor 4, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Change Criteria to Accommodate Women Survivors

One interviewee discussed her frustrations with trying to deal with the Mental Health services office in her community. According to her, the criteria should be changed for women survivors of male violence as there are particular issues involved with respect to the health implications stemming from the abuse. Her perspective was reiterated by another interviewee who referenced the social assistance system and the need to institute special provisions for women leaving abusive relationships. As she put it:

If a woman needs to get away, even if she isn't on social assistance, if it comes to the point where she has to get away, then she should be able to go to social assistance and say, "This is what is going on. I need financial help." It should be made easier to do that. No lectures. By the time women make the decision to leave, the situation is so bad that they just have to get out. Something snaps and you have to go. You don't want to have to wait a week while they process some papers. Emergency help. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another said:

I mean, how the hell does a social worker at mental health get to make a decision like that. And they do. I think they need to be smartened up in the authority that they seem to have and the weight that they carry. Every person has a right to all the help that they need. And I don't think one person should be making major decisions like that for anybody. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Country Town)

Coordinated Services

Several interviewees mentioned the need for coordinated services which would provide emergency response to secure safety, information about resources, and legal and social services. As this interviewee noted:

They need to have a branch just dedicated to this that women can go to, that is not the same as the regular welfare branch with really qualified, caring workers. We probably need to have a couple of special women doctors set aside with these services. There should be a special part of the hospital just for that. They classify things for the handicapped and that took years. We need to have the same thing available, at all levels, for abused women. Whether it is rape (by a stranger) or domestic abuse or child abuse. It has to be treated with its own separate priority. … Well, we need a violence centre where all those government services are together. We built a new RCMP office, but what the hell is all that about? We put importance on that and this issue needs the same importance with the same money that built all that stuff. (Survivor 3, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Counselling Services

Many women recommended that counselling services be made free and available to all women survivors and those living with abuse. They identified the necessity for both individual and group counselling which is woman-centered. As one interviewee stated:

Well I think one thing is they have the one counselor that works for the transition house [outreach program], she's got a big waiting list because there's not enough time for her to do the one to ones that are required so there's big waiting lists. Definitely we need more people. (Survivor 5, age 41-55, Country Town)

Another said:

… like the group they have for mothers and teenagers, something like that. Either for women who are presently in an abusive situation or that used to be. And of course, the ones that used to be can help the ones that are the most because what happens, some of us tend to forget where we come from. And maybe have, yeah, a support group in the evenings because sometimes, these counselors, during the day they're not always there. So if you have some women that have some past experience and could share their experiences and hopes. Sort of like an AA meeting. (Survivor 1, age 41-55, Country Town)

Groups are one mechanism by which to draw people out and to re-integrate them into the mainstream of society. One interviewee identified these avenues as important ways by which to counter isolation. As she put it:

… it was the mums and tots group that I went to with all of my three kids that socialized me. It was my kids that drew me in to being socialized in that community … part of the process of being able to get out of the isolation too. (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Country Town)

Financial Resources

Financial resources were among the most frequently cited suggestions. As one interviewee summarized it:

For one, I think that social services needs to give a woman more financial assistance to get her out of the situation. It's not enough just to get the regular monthly cheque because a woman needs to start over. … A woman needs a lot more financial help. She needs counselling that's paid for. She needs somebody to say, here's a list of resources, of people you can contact. And in some cases, I know of people who need police protection. . . . and the police need to respond to threats, they can't wait for something to happen, that's not good enough. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Financial resources were also cited by women whose children had been apprehended and/or were in abusive relationships. As this woman said:

When the Ministry decides that you are not a good enough parent, they can grab your kids and pay a foster parent $900 a month. They pay scads of money to look after your kid that you can't look after, probably because you are financially strapped. When you go into welfare, you don't get $800 a month. I mean, give the mother even half of that. Be there, counsel, nurture. Very few of us want to stay in the pit. We want to get out of there. We just don't know how. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

In addition to financial resources, some women identified the need for training programs which would enable women to become economically independent. As this interviewee notes:

What would I change? I would change what they changed. I would change it back so that women could educate themselves and be supported and not because they have to take a course that they tell them. They facilitate these women to get educated in a field that has employment opportunities, is skilled and technical. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Country Town)

Cultural Barriers

An immigrant woman identified the lack of information available in other languages as a significant barrier impacting on women who are non-English speaking. From her perspective, there were several immigrant women who had remained in an abusive relationship because they did not know where to go for help. She recommended having information available in the languages that women require:

It can help by having translation, people who know the language and translation. Friends, counselors. Information in their own language and especially people who talk the same language can help. (Survivor 3, age 41-55, Country Town)

Suggestions for Improving Service Provision in the Criminal Justice System

Interviewees were asked to suggest ways in which the legal system could be improved to better meet the needs of abused women in their communities. The majority of responses focussed on the enactment and enforcement of stronger laws, greater accountability for abusers, ensuring that women are taken seriously by the system and ensuring that women receive protection. This included giving more weight to women's stories of abuse and reducing the revictimization of women by the courts. Other responses focussed on the implementation of a coordinated system so that women had advocates who would accompany them to the police and through the courts, as well as act as liaisons between them and the judges. As well, women mentioned the need for reducing the time span between the laying of charges and the actual court date. Better education and training of all personnel in the criminal justice system was also identified as a priority issue. Additionally, some interviewees argued for more education and awareness of women's rights according to the law, and increased representation of women in the judiciary.

Stronger Laws, Greater Accountability, Better Enforcement

This response was articulated in a variety of ways by a number of interviewees (6). The demand for stronger laws was often accompanied by a corresponding call for greater accountability to be enforced on abusers. As this interviewee stated:

Well, I was glad to see that the stalking laws have come into effect, that stalkers are being prosecuted, but not enough. That needs to be toughened up. Threats need to be taken seriously. A person needs to be charged for threats. A woman needs to be taken very seriously, just as children are when they call a crisis line. … Tighten up the laws, from the cops to legal aid to the courts, tighten it up and make it very uncomfortable for the abuser. If there isn't room in the jails, then get 'em where it hurts, in their pocketbook, and get 'em big. They need to be held in one way or another responsible for what they are doing. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Another interviewee said:

When a woman is abused, if she has to get a restraining order and there are charges laid, then it should be in court right now. Not six months down the road. He should not get a fine or probation. If you beat someone up, you get put in jail. If it happens more than once, each time the sentence should be longer. Accountability. A three­time offender for drunk driving, their license is taken away for life. If it comes to three convictions in court, it should be, you're put away for ten years, made to get counselling. They're not. It's, "Oh, you're fine. Get your life straightened around." (Survivor 6, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

One woman supported the right of police to lay charges against the abuser:

One of the laws that has changed is that the police can make a charge and I think that that is really important. I don't think I could have charged. Obviously I couldn't. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

The desire for greater accountability was echoed by other interviewees who also identified it as the one thing they would change. Several interviewees suggested that abusers be publicly shamed for their behaviour, or that:

All abusers should be branded. Somehow be branded so that anyone who sees them knows they are an abuser. When they go for an interview for a job … knows they are an abuser, knows they are a criminal. Give him a criminal record. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

In addition, interviewees mentioned the need for better enforcement of laws and policies. This ranged from the implementation of the provincial Violence Against Women in Relationships (VAWIR) policy, to court-mandated anger management programs.

Shorter Time-Lag Between Charges and Court Dates

This issue was identified as a significant hurdle faced by several interviewees. As one of them said:

The only thing that is wrong in the courts is everything is remanded and then they go to court like a year later and they lie saying, "Oh, but I've been a good boy and I've got a job now," and it's all bullshit and then the judge will be lenient on them because they did this crime like two years ago. It's frustrating. I don't want anything . . . I don't know. I wish I had the answers for these guys because I've been going to counseling for three years now and I've met hundreds of women in these cases and it's frightening and it's really sad. A lot of them, their ex's don't even know where they are, they're in hiding. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

Taking Women Seriously

Many interviewees identified the lack of credibility that women are given by the criminal justice system. They observed that women's stories are not taken seriously, that women are revictimized as they go through the system, and that women do not have the economic power to challenge this nor the rights to do so, particularly as they are represented by crown counsel which technically does not represent women survivors but rather, represents the interests of the public. One woman emphasized that women need to be respected for surviving, not judged or overpowered:

We have to throw away the judgmental bull shit. And power over stuff. I respect legal knowledge, but please respect me for being alive and surviving. I am not weak or bad. We should be proud of our stories. We should be telling our stories. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another said:

The criminal laws have to change. … His lawyer will put her on the stand and manipulate her, I have seen it many times. He will try to change your wording, will try to minimize it, will try to make you look like you have done something wrong. He'll make you start doubting all of it. That should not be allowed. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

One interviewee referenced this issue with respect to the police. As she said:

Yeah. And support her and believe her. A woman gets to the point where she's phoned the RCMP, she's been abused … it took me a long time to call the police. When a woman finally reaches out, that woman needs to really be taken seriously. I mean, look at how many women are killed by their partners. It's gotta be taken really seriously. When it gets to that point, a woman being killed by her partner, it should be a big enough wake-up call for the criminal justice system that this is a serious issue. (Survivor 2, age 18-25, Rural Ville)

Another woman felt the abuser should be removed to allow the woman the freedom to make decisions and to be safe:

If a woman phones the cops because she is being abused, the cops shouldn't question it. They should come in, take the guy and get him out of there. No talking, no mediating. The guy should be gone and then ask questions. If you mediate in that situation, she is going to back down. There should be a place to put these guys. There should be a time that he has to be away. The woman needs time to start thinking clearly. It takes time and help to come to the point where you know you didn't deserve it. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Support Systems for Women

A number of interviewees mentioned that they would not have been able to go through the court process were it not for the accompaniment and advocacy they received from various support services such as victim assistance. Another said:

There needs to be a liaison between the police and the victim. Immediately, a trained person should be there on the scene. And there to follow through. … Well, automatically he gets charged, but then she is led through this very scary legal system all by herself. What should happen is that this liaison should be there all the time. This liaison is not a lawyer or a policeman. This person will get you going into counselling or whatever. She is someone who is aware of the services. … If someone was aware of my circumstances and the services available, she could offer them to me. She could offer options and ideas. Most women are scared, scared of poverty. This woman or man could say, "We can get you right into Welfare and you can get so much. From this other group, I can get you beds." If someone said that to me, I would go, phew! I think I can do this and still live. (Survivor 9, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

One interviewee suggested that the criminal justice system should have a council of women survivors. They would be able to advise judges on how to deal with cases involving woman abuse. As she added:

Not women as figureheads. Women who can have serious involvement. Who are well trained or both. I felt really really incredibly guilty many many times when I heard women saying, "Well why doesn't she leave?" Even women tend to judge. The whole shift has to be made. You can't leave. It is so complete. … The indoctrination, the fear. The threats and sometimes it is dangerous unless you have something in place. I had no safe place out there. No choice. If I had felt safe about leaving … (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Rural Ville)

Another woman said:

I would have more female judges when they are dealing with this kind of case, abused women. I would have those judges taking a course to educate themselves more. We're not just a woman standing up there or a man being charged and it's the same thing. … Have them get the real feeling of what it is that a woman goes through. Even if they are male. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Emergency Response and Coordinated Services

Several women mentioned emergency response and coordinated services as being critical towards improving the situation of women in abusive relationships. For example,

… I know that the Victim's Assistance try to be really good advocates and helpmates for the woman who's going through that. But I think they need to work in closer conjunction with the transition house because they are the people who deal with all the emotional issues that are going on for the woman which might cause her to back away at the last minute or to try to have the charges dropped or whatever because there's this whole other realm of things going on for her on an emotional level that she might not share with the Victim's Assistance woman. (Survivor 9, age 26-40, Country Town)

The issue of emergency response also subsumes other concerns that were articulated by the interviewees. One dealt with women who had changed their official identities, i.e., their social insurance numbers and other identifiers so as to escape/hide from an abuser. An interviewee who had gone through this process explained how there was very little support for women in her situation. While their identities were changed, they were not given any historical background to their new identities. This made the task of finding employment extremely difficult, as a result of which they were impoverished and had to rely on social assistance. As she explained:

A woman who is on the run from an abuser or a stalker who is so dangerous that they have to change their name, their social insurance number-that's not enough, they need a history because how can you, when you're in your twenties or thirties or forties, have a new social insurance number, no work history, and be expected to go out there and make your way in the world. The way it's set up now, a woman is forever tied to the system, and the system keeps her poor, and it keeps her down. … So, they need not only a new SIN and name, but they need a history: "I went to school here, and these are the jobs I worked.." They can be based on the experience they do have so that they can go into the work force and actually do that job. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Above all else, interviewees identified the need for women and their children to be safe. This translated into their abilities (financial, social, and otherwise), to access systems which would provide safety and keep their abusers away from them. This need was also expressed in terms of having more safe houses, transition houses, women-centred counselling services, and implementing screening mechanisms which would enable others to identify whether a woman was being abused.

Advice from Survivors to Women Currently Living with Abuse

Based on their experiences, interviewees were asked what kind of advice they would give to women who are experiencing abuse in much the same way as they had.

Leave Immediately

The majority of participants emphatically stated that they would tell women to leave and not to delay leaving as they could lose their lives.

Get away from the situation. … You have to learn to be objective about it, stop feeling guilty, realize that you don't deserve it. (Survivor 2, age 41-55, Country Town)

Safety Plan and Safety Nets

In addition to the above, many respondents recommended that women living with abuse come up with safety plans and develop supportive networks. They advised that women research the available resources in their area, reach out, and ensure that they have an emergency kit and plan ready. As this woman recommended:

… stashing the extra set of car keys. Don't just take the extra set, but get another copy made so he's not aware that you have it. It's a set that never existed before, so therefore he doesn't know that it's stashed. … Money: two bucks here, five bucks there - even if you're poor, you can scrimp and save fifty cents here and there. Whenever you can, stash that money away when he's not around. It's gotta be in a waterproof container, plastic bag, preferably hidden away so it's not found. Change of clothes, underwear, all that stuff, whatever you can. A little bit of food, if you can. Anything that would help. Emergency phone numbers, addresses of long lost friends. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

In addition, survivors suggested that women build networks, reach out, and locate resources that might be helpful. They advised women to find any available services that can help them cope with and/or leave the abusive relationship. They suggested going to transition houses, getting counselling, and finding ways to meet other women who were in similar situations. One participant said:

Go to the transition house. Try to meet people who are in your predicament because that's very helpful. That was the biggest help for me. (Survivor 4, age 26-40, Country Town)

Another woman similarly recommended:

If you have a lot of friends, think real hard, who is your friend unconditionally. If you don't have any friends, call the crisis line if you have to. Call the transition house if you have to. Even if you have to call the police, they have some places to tell you about. But don't ever think that you are alone. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

The isolation many women in abusive relationships experience can also foster feelings of self-blame and alienation. Virtually all the respondents said that they would tell women that they are not alone, that the abuse is not their fault, and that they have to believe in themselves. Raising self-esteem was identified as a critical step in the path to leaving abusive relationships. For example, one interviewee advised:

There really are a lot of women and … they have to listen to themselves and do what is right for them. They may go back six or seven times before they make the final break but that's okay. That's where it fits for them. And they need to be gentle with themselves because they're doing the best that they can at the time with a really hairy situation. (Survivor 5, age 26-40, Country Town)

Realizing that other women are also experiencing the same feelings can enable a woman to come to terms with her abuse and take steps toward leaving the abusive relationship. One participant reiterated the importance of building self-esteem:

To believe in yourself. With women who are abused, they get beaten down in such a way that often their self-esteem is so low that they don't believe that they can make it on their own financially or emotionally… (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

This interviewee added that she would also tell women that they should not remain in the abusive relationship because of the children.

Don't Minimize the Abuse

A number of interviewees said that they would ask women in abusive relationships not to minimize or justify abuse. In addition, they stressed that women should not cling to the hope that the abuser will change. One woman cautioned:

Do not minimize your abuse. A lot of women will think that because they have only been verbally abused, that they are not as bad off. Abuse is abuse. Know what abuse is. Don't ever minimize it. (Survivor 7, age 26-40, Rural Ville)

Self-education

Several women indicated that they had learned to recognize the abuse by reading books and talking to others. One interviewee mentioned the need for a resource library in the community which would offer women the opportunity to borrow self-help oriented books. She suggested:

Get everything out of the library. Teach yourself. Access everything that's out there. There's great information. (Survivor 8, age 41-55, Country Town)

Getting Perspectives through Community Involvement

All of the above issues were identified as important ways in which women can get a perspective on their situation, name the abuse, and find ways to deal with it. This respondent recommended greater involvement in the community as a way of keeping safe and maintaining a more distanced perspective. As she put it:

To try and be as much a part of the community as possible so that it impacts upon them that they're not these abnormal wastes of space. Because that's the big thing with abuse. Women have to be convinced that they're … they spend so much time convincing you that you're not valuable that you believe it and then I think you really need to get out of that isolation and get out so that you know that you are valuable. That's a big part of it. Self-esteem. (Survivor 10, age 41-55, Country Town)

6. AN ESCAPE STORY FROM A SURVIVOR

The night before I fled I had said to him that I felt we should split up, and he smashed what was left of the kitchen chairs, the ones that hadn't been smashed yet and he picked up his stereo and held it above his head and advanced toward me … I said to him, I just kept backing up and backing up saying, "If you smash that stereo, you're going to be really pissed off. You paid a lot of money for that stereo, just put the stereo down," and when he advanced as far as the cords would let him go, he stopped. I told him that if he killed me that he would never get away with it, that he would go to prison, that the kids would know, that the kids would grow up in foster homes, that he would never get away with it … I waited until he fell asleep, and I listened to the sound of his breathing, waited for a long time after it sounded like he was asleep, that deep sleep sound, and then I got up. I couldn't get the kids' clothes from the dresser because it was in the same room and I was worried that it would wake him up, so I went downstairs and, thank god for the dirty laundry, we had a lot of dirty laundry, so I packed it into bags along with whatever blankets and pillows I could find … I went to the bathroom and packed up the shampoos and all the toiletries.

So what I did was I packed it all in a little alcove by the front door, the bags and boxes, so it was close to the front door but out of sight, so that if he happened to get up, maybe he wouldn't see it. Then I got the photo album, the kids' books, just a few things from around the house that were precious to me, small things, and necessities - some food, some cups, and plates - and got it all by the door and ready and then when I had packed all that I could pack, I went upstairs to bed. I didn't sleep and waited for the alarm to go off and turned off the alarm, and I was just going on the hope that, because of his rage the night before, he would just stay in bed, and that if he saw me getting up at the regular time in the morning, he would just assume it was business as usual and sleep in, and even if he woke up, he wouldn't think that there was anything strange. So I got the kids up. I burned their toast, fed it to them anyway while I went back and forth to the car and packed. I had the car filled, and then I put the kids in the car. The last thing I did was to go upstairs to the bedroom and take down the embroideries that I had made for each of the kids for a gift for each of them, took those off the wall and I left. My gas tank was below a quarter tank and I had twenty-five dollars in the bank. (Survivor 1, age 26-40, Rural Ville)